March 29, 2020

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I read recently that a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis after his girlfriend found the ring in his pants pocket and got so mad at him she stuck it on him while he was asleep.

Which is worse...

Having your girlfriend find out you're married...

Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis...

Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring?

Can't-win-for-losing,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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Sold Out Everywhere? We HAVE HAND SANITIZER - Stay Safe!

"Ireland will be opening its first nude beach this April. And in May, Ireland will be closing its first nude beach." -Conan O'Brien



A girl I know said the last time she had sex, it was like the men's Olympic 100 meter final.

I laughed, "What? Over in 9.5 seconds?"

"No," she said, "Eight black men and a gun."



"One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.' But when you're in the woods you're like, 'Is there an asshole out here?' They look like trees." -Demetri Martin



Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table. Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."

Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."

"That's true," said Paul.

"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

"Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"

"Love line? No, from the calluses."