January 23, 2020
Greetings Laff Lovers,
When I got home last night my wife noticed me sniffling and drooling snot all over the place. "Are you getting sick?" She asked.
"Yeah," I said, "I think I got a touch of that Chinese Coronavirus."
Showing her compassion for my debilitated condition she immediately asked, "Where would you come into contact with any Chinese people?"
"Up by the airport," I answered. "The immigrants are always looking to make some quick American money."
"'Han job five dolla!'" I elaborated in my best Chinese pidgin.
"You're gross."
"Maybe, but they're tiny, little Chinese hands make my Johnson look really big."
Internationally,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:
tz@gophercentral.com
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What did our parents do to kill boredom before the Internet?
I asked my 16 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
Why Guys Can't Win
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a control freak.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's manipulation.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're self-centered.
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I have a gun.
Get in the van.
This new scam is being pulled mainly on older men. What happens is when you stop for a red light a pretty, young woman in a paper thin tank top comes up and pretends to be washing your windshield while rubbing her tits all over the glass.
While the driver is distracted by this, another person opens your back door and steals anything in the car.
They are very good!
They got me twice on Friday and 3 times Saturday.
I wasn't able to find them on Sunday...
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