January 22, 2020

Good Morning Groanies,

Well, you know that it's winter when your pipes freeze. That's right - MY WATER PIPES FROZE AGAIN!!! What the H?!

I have had it! Winter can kiss my wrinkly white butt! Winter, you can cram your sub zero temperatures, your wind chill, your snow, your freezing rain, right up your frost-bitten keister!

That Jack Frost is a punk! I'm gonna rub his face in some yellow snow! You snowcone looking bag of douche! If I get my hands on him I'm gonna choke him out with my scarf!

Winter and all that goes along with it sucks and better run and hide! Oh, I'm hot!!! Hopefully, this will bring the Spring to us sooner. Punxsutawney Phil, you better NOT see your freakin' shadow, you fuzzy little bastard!

So, how's your winter going?

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve

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*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What did the mother buffalo say to her child as he was leaving for school?

A: Bison!


Q: What STD do birds get?

A: Chirpies. It is a CARDINAL disease; and it is untweetable.


Q: What food decreases a womans sex drive by 90%?

A: Wedding cake!

*-- The Fridge Husband --*

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband - he thinks he's a refrigerator!"

"I wouldn't worry too much about it," the doctor replies. "Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass."

"But you don't understand," the woman insists. "He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake."

*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What's the difference between a beer and a booger?

A: A beer goes on the table, a booger goes under it.


Q: What did the farmer count his cows with?

A: A cowculator.


Q. What goes ninety-nine clump, ninety-nine clump, ninety-nine clump?

A. A centipede with a wooden leg.