December 11, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

You might expect this kind of behavior at a Walmart, but at a Target? The unfortunate Target in question is located in St. Petersburg, Florida, where a 20-year-old man wandered in and was irresistibly smitten by something he saw in the toy section. But instead of coughing up the 15 bucks and lavishing his affections in private, he was overwhelmed right there in the toy aisle.

Cody Meader was arrested for allegedly engaging in sexual conduct with a pair of "large stuffed animal toys" at a Target store last month. The count charges accuse Meader of "willfully and maliciously" damaging Target goods "by ejaculating on the merchandise."

According to a police report, Meader arrived at Target around 2 PM and approached a display featuring characters from the Disney film "Frozen." He then selected a "large Olaf stuffed animal" and placed it on the floor. Meader proceeded to "dry hump" the cinematic snowman "until he ejaculated on the merchandise."

Upon returning the soiled stuffed animal back to a merchandise rack, Meader entered the toy department. There, police allege, he "selected a large unicorn stuffed animal and began to 'dry hump' this item."

After being detained by police inside Target, Meader reportedly "admitted to doing 'stupid stuff' and admitted that he had 'nutted' on the Olaf stuffed animal."

The Olaf and unicorn dolls were "removed from the store floor" and destroyed.

Meader is free on $150 bond.


Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com

Drunk Arrested for Riding Horse On Highway

A man has been arrested in downtown Dallas after witnesses say he was drunk - while riding a horse. Becky's Hope Horse Rescue said they were called to the scene to pick up a wounded and infected horse. Police said the man - who has not been identified - had been weaving in and out of traffic on a highway. He was arrested for public intoxication and the horse is recovering at the non-profit in Frisco. It is unknown at this time how the horse was injured but an investigation is underway.

Woman Eats Entire Bag of Marijuana During Arrest

A Florida woman was caught on surveillance video attempting to eat a bag full of marijuana during an arrest for DUI. Tavish Smith was pulled over on suspicion of DUI after she allegedly crashed her truck two times and was seen driving the wrong way. During the stop, officers searched the vehicle and discovered a sandwich bag full of marijuana. After the suspect was placed in the back of a squad car, she asked the officer to go get her flip-flops from her truck. Smith was then able to wriggle out of her handcuffs and grab the bag from the front seat of the squad car. She then quickly chowed down on its contents. "My car's smelling like the stuff you had in your seat," the arresting trooper says in the video. "I hope that's not why this marijuana bag was open over here. Bags of weed just don't go missing inside a police car. And I've got it all on video." Smith denied eating the pot, but she allegedly left marijuana crumbs everywhere. The 45-year-old allegedly ate about 12 grams of grass. According to WTSP, "at the moment she eats the evidence, her misdemeanor charges for minor hit-and-run, DUI and marijuana possession bump up to a felony."

READER COMMENTS

About that cop who touched the dead woman's boobs, I'm wondering exactly what he was thinking. Is he unable to get any living women to allow him to do that? If so, he needs to a good look at himself. -Chris
[There's a word for that kind of behavior.]


You know, they say video games and violent TV makes kids do crazy things, but how many episodes of The Crocodile Hunter do you think that guy in Louisiana saw before he decided to jump on an 11-foot gator?

END OF READER COMMENTS