November 16, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

We have all read those stories about some druggy who calls the police because his dealer screwed him over (or the story of the pot grower who called the police because somebody broke into his grow-house and stole a bunch of his pot plants). There was even a story about a guy who called the police because a hooker "stole" his money without providing service. But today's story is a new one on me.

A Houston woman who says she is a stripper is being sued in small claims court by one of her customers.

Her stage name is Nomi. She says she works in a Houston strip club and admits she went out a few times with one of her customers named Robert.

"I've never heard of a customer suing a stripper," Nomi said. "I just don't understand how this person can sue me for money that he freely gave. I would never have even taken it had I known I had to pay it back."

I'm sure.

Robert wouldn't say much, but confirms he met Nomi at a strip club. He says she owes him about $3,000 worth of DVDs, a laptop and cash, and he's suing to get it back.

I didn't know strippers accepted laptops. How do you fit it in the G-string, I wonder.

Gerald Treece, attorney and law professor at South Texas College of Law, said it comes down to whether it was all gifts. "It has no really great legal value," he said. "It was 'wow' value, and it all depends on whose facts the court believes."

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com

The City of Angels

A homeless man dumped a bucket of "hot" diarrhea on a Los Angeles woman near the Hollywood Walk of Fame - an unprovoked attack that's left her with PTSD, she said this week. Heidi Van Tassel said she was about to drive home from a Thai restaurant near the famed tourist area when the alleged assailant, Jere Blessings, dragged her out of her vehicle. He pulled her into the middle of the street, where he dumped a bucket of feces over her head, she said. "It was diarrhea. Hot liquid," Van Tassel reported. "I was soaked, and it was coming off my eyelashes and into my eyes." Referring to the amount of feces used in the attack, paramedics who treated her said that it "looked like the man was saving it up for a month." Blessings - who was described as a transient who suffers from mental illness - was sent by a judge to a residential facility for people with mental health issues.


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Too Much Exercise Will Kill You

Sometimes people die for a reason. Some people just get sick and die for no reason at all. Then there are the people who get run over while doing pushups, naked in the street. The unfortunate fitness enthusiast was 43-year-old James Earl Hunter of Oregon. Portland Police were called to a report of a man running naked in traffic at 4 a.m. As officers responded, a second report came in that the naked man was doing push-ups in the street. Then, a third report that he'd been struck by a vehicle. Officers and emergency medical workers found the man, deceased, according to the Portland Police Bureau. The driver of the vehicle that struck the man remained at the scene and was cooperative. The driver was not impaired by alcohol or drugs, according to police.

READER COMMENTS

Never liked gin, always thought it tasted like crap. Guess I was right.


Hey Lewis, Did the guy in the deli with the samurai sword look anything like John Belushi? -Scott

END OF READER COMMENTS