October 23, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

I've been watching a lot of horror movies lately, some might say too many.

There's nothing like a good scary movie. The kind that gives you a little healthy paranoia, wakes you up in the middle of the night, makes you remove all of the dolls out of your house, makes you question every creak and squeak you hear, makes you steer clear of the basement, you don't engage in promiscuous sex while camping near a lake, you know, stuff like that.

Maybe I should let up on my horror movie viewing for a bit. I think these monstrous motion picture are starting to get to me. Nah! Halloween is coming fast so I'm gonna watch more, sleep less and enjoy all of the scares, monsters, and mayhem that makes this season the best!

And remember that there is nothing to be scared of...unless you catch a glimpse of your dad in his tighty whiteys washing the car while blasting Def Leppard's 'Pour Some Sugar On Me'. Now that's scary!

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What is an optimistic vampire's favorite drink?

A: B Positive.


Q: Where do werewolves hate to shop?

A: Flea markets!


Q: What do you call a single vampire?

A: A bat-chelor.

*-- A Vampire Bit Me! --*

Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.

Doctor: Drink this glass of water.

Patient: Will it make me better?

Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why are there fences around graveyards?

A: Because everyone's dying to get in!


Q: What do you call a witch's garage?

A: A broom closet.


Q: Why don't mummies take time off?

A: They're afraid to unwind.