October 14, 2019

Good morning crew,

The wife and I were doing our weekly grocery shopping yesterday when she espied something unusual. In the liquor section they had an entire rack full of beer marked 'clearance'. The whole rack. It was really cheap, and there were some big brand names in there, too.

"I wonder why they're so desperate to get rid of this stuff?" I said.

I had actually picked a couple of six packs off the rack and put them in our shopping cart when the wife said, "I think I figured it out."

Squinting at the bottom of a can she read out loud, "Best if sold by September 2019."

"Ah ha," I said, putting the beer back on the rack.

"Since when are you so finicky?" she chided me, moving the beer from the rack back to the cart again. "It's not yogurt. It can sit on a shelf for a few weeks and not go bad."

"I don't know... the flavor of beer can go off if it's been sitting around for too long."

She said, "At 50 cents a beer you can handle it."

I think I've created a monster.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Researchers have published a letter from a Harvard student in 1743 asking his parents for money. On the bright side, just this year his student loans were finally paid off." -Conan O'Brien

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"Indonesia's anti-drug chief is proposing that the country put narcotics offenders in a jail on an island surrounded by crocodiles. The plan is to send the inmates food supplies every day but they will have to survive on their own. This already sounds like a reality TV show I would totally watch." -James Corden

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"New research has found that contrary to popular belief, it could be beneficial for women to eat and drink while in labor. Though I don't think the other people in the restaurant would be too happy about it." -Seth Meyers

***
On October 13, 1944, the Durham N. C. Sun Reported that a Durhamite had been brought before a Judge Wison in traffic court for having parked his car on a restricted street right in front of a sign that read "No Stoping."

Rather than pleading guilty, the defendant argued that the missing letter in the sign meant that he had not violated the letter of the law. Brandishing a Webster's dictionary, he noted that stoping means:

"Extracting ore from a stope or, loosely, underground."

"Your Honor", said the man, "I am a law-abiding citizen and I didn't extract any ore from the area of the sign. I move that the case be dismissed."

Acknowledging that the defendant hadn't done any illegal mining, the judge declared the man not guilty and commented, "Since this is Friday, the 13th, anything can happen, so I'll turn you loose."

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

While I was dining out with my children, a friend of my neighbor, who recognized us, came over to our table, and we started talking.

He asked where my kids go to school. I told him we homeschooled them.

With a raised eyebrow, he asked if my husband is the sole breadwinner for our family.

I said, "No, I also work... but out of our home."

Then, noticing our two-month-old son, he mentioned that his daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital our son was born in.

"He was born at home," I answered.

The man looked at me and said, "You don't get out much, do you?"