October 11, 2019
I just looked it up and Grand Rapids is almost exactly on the other side of the lake from Milwaukee! So it shouldn't be any longer of a drive. I'll start doing some research.
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
"The federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making extended forecasts that can help people plan for extreme weather - because what can go wrong when you combine the efficiency of government with the accuracy of weathermen?" -Jimmy Fallon
***
"Scientists in northern California and Oregon found that marijuana gardens are threatening the salmon population. I don't see the problem, really. Everyone loves baked salmon." -Seth Meyers
***
"Archaeologists believe they have found the tomb of St. Nicholas beneath an ancient church in Turkey. St. Nicholas, of course, is the basis for the legend of Santa Claus. And they think they found him. Which means now when my son asks me if Santa is real, I can confidently say, 'Yes! He is dead though. That's why you didn't get that bike.'" -James Corden
***
A pretty young blonde stood at the bank cashier's window and smiled. "I'd like to cash this check, please," she said, handing it over.
The teller examined the check and said: "Could you identify yourself, Miss?"
For a moment the lovely girl's brow creased over, then with a bright look she fumbled in her handbag and producing a mirror, glanced in it and with relief said, "Yes! It's me, all right!"
The clerk said, "No Ma'am, you misunderstood me. We require a photo identification."
The girl searched her bag again and found a picture with a group of people. "This is a recent family photo," she explained. "That's me, third from the left."
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"
The father thought for a moment, then replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breathe underwater?"
Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."
A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son."
Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"
"Of course not, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!"
|