September 23, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

I was going through some old notebooks of mine and I discovered a joke that I had written when I was nine. Get ready for a laugh from the past.

A husband and his wife are having dinner when the husband begins to choke. Frantically, the wife calls out, "Is there a doctor in the house?"

A man walks up to her and says, "Yes, I'm a doctor."

The wife pleads with the doctor, "Please! Please do something to help my loving husband!"

The doctor walks over to the bar and grabs a soda and then brings it to the choking man.

"How is a soda going to help my husband? I thought you said you were a doctor?" the wife asks.

The doctor looks at her and says, "I am. I'm Dr. Pepper."

I know it's not Carlin or Pryor in their prime, but what are ya gonna do? I was nine. Hey, it's still better than any cruise ship comedian you'll ever hear.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve

*-- Sitting For Too Long --*

Two old ladies are sitting on a hard park bench for a few hours. One says: "I think my butt fell asleep."

The other said: "Yeah, I heard it snore a couple of times."

*-- Nail Biting --*

Two older ladies were discussing their husbands over tea.

"I do wish that my George would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous."

"My Herbert used to do the same thing," the older woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit."

"How?"

"I hid his teeth."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you call a dinosaur in cowboy boots?

A: Tyranosauras Tex.


Q: What does the tooth fairy give for half a tooth?

A: Nothing. She wants the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.


Q: What did the dolphin say when he bumped into the whale?

A: I didn't do it on porpoise.