September 21, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

It seemed like the perfect crime. You have a few drinks, maybe smoke a little dope, and then steal a snake. Who would ever expect a person high on dope to steal a snake? No one, that's who.

But no plan is fool-proof, as the perpetrator of this particular herpetological heist learned.

Authorities say a New York woman who crashed her car into a Long Island fire house was found to be in possession of marijuana - and a stolen snake.

Nassau County police say 22-year-old Sarah Espinosa, of Albany, was driving on Jericho Turnpike when she crossed the median and collided with a vehicle. They say she continued through the front door of the New Hyde Park fire house and hit two fire trucks.

Fire personnel found that the small ball python she had stolen had wrapped itself around her neck.

Authorities say the snake was stolen from a nearby pet store before the accident.

Espinosa was arraigned on charges including petit larceny, reckless endangerment and driving while intoxicated.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com

"I can't believe I had an anchor in my head"

A freak boating accident left a 14-year-old Florida boy with an anchor lodged in his skull, and doctors call his survival story one in a million. "I can't believe I had an anchor in my head. Like, that's pretty crazy," Caleb Bennett said. "My friends now call me the 'Anchorman' so that's kind of cool." Caleb and his family were fishing on the Manatee River when the accident happened. "As soon as I got my hands on it, I kind of felt what it was, and I realized it was in my head pretty far. I just stayed calm. I told my friend, 'Hey, you need to call 911 or I'm going to die,'" Caleb said. He was flown to Johns Hopkins in St. Peterburg where he immediately underwent brain surgery. "I've seen arrows, I've seen bullets, but I've never seen an anchor, number one, and number two, I've never seen anybody with an injury like that walk out of the hospital almost completely neurologically intact. That's one in a million," said Caleb's doctor, Luis Rodriguez. Caleb says he eager to pursue a new passion; spearfishing.


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Teen Starts Fire by Burning Love Letters

Authorities in Nebraska said firefighters responded to the third floor of an apartment building to put out a blaze caused by a woman burning love letters from a former lover. The Lincoln Police Department said police and firefighters responded to an apartment complex in Lincoln on a report of flames on the third floor. Police said there were no injuries, but the fire caused about $4,000 worth of damage. The apartment's resident, a 19-year-old woman, told police she had been burning love letters from her ex and fell asleep with the smoldering remains of the notes on the carpet. The woman said she woke to the smoke detectors in her home sounding. The woman was cited for negligent burning, police said.

READER COMMENTS

A number of years ago, my friend Darcy had a love affair with beer. One day I personally watched as she downed most of a 30 packs of MGD. The next afternoon, I got a call from the Northbrook, Illinois police department. It seems Darcy woke up, got on her bicycle and proceeded to ride down the 2 lane road in front of her condo complex. She was weaving in and out of traffic, almost becoming a speed bump. They gave her a DUI for riding a bicycle under the influence of alcohol.
[Sounds like a fun date.]


Riding a bicycle while under the influence is illegal everywhere. It's still considered as DIU. It doesn't have to be a car.


LEWIS; In Illinois DUI laws also apply to those on bicycles same as operators of motor vehicles. If a DUI leads to license suspension and the offender is then caught riding a bicycle drunk he can be ticketed for a 2nd offense and have more time added to his license suspension. Yet unlike the car driver the bicycle guy can walk the bike if too drunk to ride it. -R.S.


So nine months from now. What will the drunk bicycle couple name their child? Fuzzsickle?

END OF READER COMMENTS