September 18, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Did you know it is illegal to bicycle under the influence of alcohol in Florida? The couple in today's story were stopped after a police officer saw them weaving their bicycles through traffic. When he smelled alcohol on their breath he arrested them and stuck them both in the back of his police car. But that cop underestimated the heightened intelligence that comes with 8 or 10 beers. Because the man had an escape plan in mind, and step one was getting naked.

This bizarre episode unfolded about 11:40 p.m. Friday night in Fernandina Beach, according to their arrest reports. A Nassau County deputy stopped the couple after they were nearly struck by a car they cut off. Smelling booze, the deputy placed both under arrest.

Things took a sordid turn when the arresting deputy noticed the couple had taken their clothes off and were starting to have sex in the back of his patrol car. When deputies opened the car door to intervene, the naked man knocked a deputy to the ground and took off running into the night.

Deputies said the woman, 35-year-old Megan Lynn Mondanaro, grew violent as deputies moved her to a different vehicle. She was taken to the ground and later checked out at the hospital.

The man, 31-year-old Aaron Seth Thomas, was later taken into custody after deputies caught up to him at a nearby Cold Stone Creamery. Deputies said Thomas' blood alcohol content was .145, which is nearly twice the legal limit in Florida.

Both Thomas and Mondanaro were booked into the Nassau County jail on several charges including resisting with violence, unnatural and lascivious act, exposure of sexual organs, and driving under the influence.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com

At Least Her Fiance Knows She Swallows

A California woman who dreamed that she had to swallow her engagement ring to protect it from thieves woke up to find she really had ingested the piece of jewelry. Jenna Evans of San Diego said she had a dream that her fiance, Bobby Howell, told her to swallow her engagement ring to protect it from some "bad guys" on a high speed train. "When I woke up and it was not on my hand, I knew exactly where it was," Evans said. "It was in my stomach." Evans went to Urgent Care the following day, where X-rays confirmed the ring was in her stomach and was unlikely to pass through her digestive system safely on its own. "I was really happy because I don't know if I can look at it and appreciate it in the same way, if I had to search for it," Evans said. Doctors determined an upper endoscopy would be the best way to retrieve the ring, which was causing Evans stomach pains. The surgery was successful and the ring was returned to Evans' finger, but she said she plans to take it off at night from now on. Sounds like someone has some unresolved commitment issues to me.


See The Toy We Had So Much Fun With WATCH THE VIDEO HERE!

Here's Something You Don't See Very Often

If you're going to slice through 62 kiwis with a sword at least make it challenging. Like this man did who accomplished the stunt by standing on an inflatable ball. An Idaho man broke a Guinness World Record by standing atop an inflatable Swiss ball and using a sword to slice through 62 kiwi fruits. David Rush, who has broken more than 100 Guinness records to promote STEM education, stood atop the Swiss ball while Jonathan Hannon threw the kiwis into the air. Rush managed to slice through 62 thrown kiwis before falling off the ball just seconds before the end of his one-minute time limit. The attempt, which occurred during filming for the Science of Guinness World Records traveling exhibit, defeated the previous record of 35 sliced kiwis.

READER COMMENTS

Hi Lewis, $120,000 extra in a personal bank account? I've heard of this happening before, and it NEVER worked out for anyone receiving and immediately spending such a "windfall." What kind of idiot presumes that that much extra money is theirs, and goes on a spending spree like that? The kind of idiot who apparently aspires to be in publications like Bizarre News. -Lynda-Marie

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