July 22, 2019

Good morning crew,

We survived the weekend and it wasn't as bad as all that. Friday was definitely brutal, and Saturday was shaping up to be the same way. At 10 o'clock in the morning it was 88 degrees and by 3 in the afternoon it was up to 94. So it was going up about 1 degree an hour.

The wife and I drove over to old Mason's house for a cookout and we were all prepared to stay cool by pouring ice cold beer all over our naked bodies when a massive cloud bank starting rolling across the sky around five in the afternoon. Suddenly it started raining and in about 20 minutes the outside temperature had dropped 20 degrees.

And it stayed that way the rest of the weekend. Fortunately the rain let up long enough for us to grill up the significant pile of chicken wings, sausages and hamburgers we had waiting, but we didn't get that lucky on Sunday.

But I'll tell you that story later.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The number of shark attacks around the world increased by 25 percent. With the economy like it is, more and more sharks are turning to crime." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
"China reportedly scrubbed the images of Winnie the Pooh from social media over the weekend, after users compared the character to their president. Though it seems like it would just be easier to just get their president to put some pants on." -Seth Meyers

***
"A new study found that people with a lot of phobias are more likely to have health problems. Or as those people put it, 'I was afraid of that.'" -Jimmy Fallon

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their child looks a little odd, so she decides to do a DNA test. She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.

Husband: What's up?

Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our child.

Husband: Well, don't you remember? When we were leaving the hospital that night, you saw the baby had pooped his diaper. Then you said: Please go change the baby, I'll wait for you here. So I went inside, got a clean one and left the messy one there.

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

SOMETIMES...

Sometimes...
when you cry,
no one sees your tears.

Sometimes...
when you are in pain,
no one sees your hurt.

Sometimes...
when you are worried,
no one sees your stress.

Sometimes...
when you are happy,
no one sees your smile.

But fart just ONE TIME!