July 13, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Improvise, adapt and over come. That's what you have to do when you're faced with a challenge you are not equipped to deal with. Say you have a big inflatable pool that you have to get home, but all you have to transport it is a little, 4-door Audi? Do you give up? Abandon it? Not if you're the woman in today's story. AND you have a couple of kids to act as ballast.

According police in Dixon, IL officers were alerted and later observed an Audi Q5 driving west on Illinois Route 2 with a "blue inflatable pool on the roof with two juveniles inside of the pool."

Officers made contact with the driver, 49-year-old Jennifer A. Janus Yeager, who said she had her daughters ride inside of the empty pool to "hold it down on their drive home." Police learned Yeager drove into town to inflate the pool at a friends' house.

Yeager was arrested and charged with two counts of Endangering the Health or Life of a Child and two counts of Reckless Conduct. Police said she was also cited for failure to secure a passenger of the age of 8 and under the age of 16. She was transported to the Dixon Police Department where she was processed and released after posting bond.

It was not reported whether she finally got the pool home or not.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com

American Gored Trying to Get a Selfie

The desire to have a selfie as a souvenir from running with the bulls in Spain turned into a near-death experience an American lawyer says he'll never forget. A charging bull ran over and gored San Francisco resident Jaime Alvarez in the neck during the first run of this year's San Fermin festival in Pamplona. "The joy and the excitement of being in the bullring quickly turned into a scare, into real fear for my life," Alvarez, 46, said at a regional hospital where he was recovering from surgery. Doctors told Alvarez the bull's horn went deep into his neck and fractured part of a cheekbone. That it didn't hit the jugular vein or major arteries was described to the injured patient as "beyond miraculous." Alvarez said he climbed onto a fence for safety and only returned to the arena to shoot a short video when he thought that the danger had passed. He wanted "a 5-second video scene to say 'Here I am, I did it.'" That's when the stray bull came at him running fast. "The impact was unlike anything I've ever felt. It was like being hit by a car or a truck," Alvarez said. The selfie, on the other hand, turned out fantastic.

One Way Or Another, Somebody's Getting Stabbed

After her boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex, a Florida Woman allegedly grabbed a kitchen knife and slashed him multiple times on the arm and shoulder, according to a criminal complaint. A sheriff's deputy reported that Jennifer Lee Chapman, 37, and the 36-year-old victim "got into a verbal argument over defendant wanting to have sex and the victim did not because he was too tired." After Chapman grabbed a knife and cut her arm, the couple began grappling on the kitchen floor. When they briefly separated, Chapman allegedly "cut victim's left arm and shoulder area multiple times." She also head-butted and punched her boyfriend in the face, police report. Chapman was arrested in connection with the incident. She was charged with aggravated battery. Chapman is also facing a probation violation charge in connection with her guilty plea last year for illegally possessing marijuana, crystal meth, and the antidepressant Xanax.

READER COMMENTS

Your reader Kevin should be careful when speaking to aliens. We all know Queetzal won't take crap from anyone.


After that last story it's no wonder why women are so hesitant to take caulk in the ass.


Lewis; I'm 5'10" and weigh about 180. My wife is 5'7" and weighs about 165 (please don't use my name if you print this!). I don't think I could beat that time with her on my back... but if I could, think of all that beer!
[A man can dream.]

END OF READER COMMENTS