Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS
 
Subscribe to DEAL OF THE DAY
 


July 12, 2019

Good morning crew,

Did you know you can wash your clothes, your hair, even your stinky little, fluffy, puppy with nuts? No, I'm not crazy. But I'm not talking about macadamia nuts or walnuts either. THAT would be crazy. No, I'm talking about soapberry nuts.

Never heard of them? Not many people have, but they have been around for thousands of years. Native peoples in Asia as well as Native Americans used to use them. So what are they?

Soapberry nuts are known as Magic Washberries. They are a naturally growing nut that contains saponins, which is the same compound used in detergents and soap.

Harvested directly from the trees, soapberry nuts require no alteration to act as a soap. They are also free of artificial foaming agents making them a safer option for your family and the environment. In other words, they're a truly green product!

And you can use these for so much more than just laundry.

For Household Cleaning: Use Magic Washberries for washing dishes. Simply soak our Magic Washberries in water and use the resulting liquid in a squeeze bottle. Use for dishes or as a hand-soap.

For Dishwashers: Create your own dishwasher detergent using a blend of Magic Washberries liquid and water for naturally-clean dishes.

For Shampoo: Mix up a bottle of shampoo by soaking our Magic Washberries in water and using the liquid in your shower to add a natural sheen to your locks!

For Pets: Give your pets' coats a shine with Magic Washberries-based shampoo. Mix Magic Washberries liquid with water and put mixture in a squeeze or spray bottle, then wash your pets like usual.

You can get a whole box of Magic Washberries for $9.99. That hundreds of loads of wash! It seems like a pretty cheap experiment to discover what could be your new favorite soap.

Click here for all the information or to order your Organic Magic Washberries.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives


It's The World's Best Fly Trap! Now Get 2 For Just $10


"A college student in Pennsylvania is suing her school for the C+ she got in a class. She said, 'I'm suing whoever's responsible for this!' And her professor said, 'Don't you mean WHOMEVER?'" -Jimmy Fallon

***

"A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers than drunk people. Then again, it's easier to see what is coming when you're driving at 11 miles-an-hour." -Conan O'Brien

***

"A restaurant here in New York has started selling a so-called 'New Yorker milkshake' which comes topped with whipped cream and a slice of cheesecake. Which means the next topping you'll get is a coffin lid." -Seth Meyers





The party's host paid me a great compliment. "You are a good-looking woman," he said. "Honest--I've had only one beer."

My glow was only slightly dimmed when my husband interjected, "Imagine how great she'll look after two."

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight.

"Was anything wrong with them?" the clerk asked.

"Yes," I said. "They hurt my feelings."