July 08, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

Everyone has a dream job. I have a few that I don't mind sharing with you on this fine day. Here's a list of my dream jobs.

1. Mattress Tester
2. Security Guard at a Mannequin Factory
3. Bubble Gum Chewer
4. New Car Smell Smeller
5. Movie Critic
6. World Renown Bad Dancer

These all seem like excellent career choices. Wouldn't you like to get paid for one of these jobs?

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve

*-- What Seems to be the Trouble? --*

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

*-- I Thought You Were My Wife --*

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What happened when the wheel was invented?

A: It caused a revolution.


Q: What is the surest way to double your money?

A: Fold it!


Q: What time do ducks wake up in the morning?

A: At the quack of dawn.