July 03, 2019

Good morning crew,

Last year's Independence Day cookout was hot, humid, sticky and uncomfortable, but at least the thunderstorms waited until later in the evening before dumping about an inch of water all over everything. I don't think this year I'm going to be so lucky.

As of this morning the National Weather Service is forecasting a 60 percent chance of thunderstorms tomorrow. That's a bad bet in anybody's book. But last night I went out and bought about 20 pounds worth of hamburgers, hot dogs, sausages and chicken wings, so one way or another I'm having a party.

Now the question becomes, is it smarter to try and broil 25 hamburgers in the oven, or light the barbecue grill inside the garage?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"This week is the July 4th holiday, or as your dog calls it, PTSD Day." -Seth Meyers

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"The Fourth of July holiday is almost upon us. The original Brexit is the Fourth of July. It's my favorite holiday. You don't have to wrap anything, other than bacon around a hot dog." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"For the fourth time, a small town in Kentucky has elected a dog as its mayor. People were so excited; at the victory party, they kept chanting, '28 more years! 28 more years!'" -Jimmy Fallon


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A preacher of the old school was describing the events of Judgment Day and, of course, he used Biblical phraseology whenever he could.

"Oh, my friends," he intoned, "imagine the suffering of the sinners as they find themselves cast into the outer darkness, removed from the presence of the Lord and given to eternal flames. My friends, at such a time there will be weeping, wailing and a great gnashing of teeth!"

At this point, one of the elders of the congregation interrupted to say, "But Reverend, what if one of those hopeless sinners has no teeth?"

The preacher crashed his fist on the pulpit, "My friends, the Lord is not put out by details. Rest assured... teeth will be provided!"


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A tour guide was showing a tour group around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar coin across the Potomac River.

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