July 03, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

Firstly, Happy Independence Day... tomorrow! Secondly, all of the jokes in today's issue are July 4th related, which is more fun than shooting bottle rockets out of your butt! Which reminds me, please don't do that.

And lastly, I'm sure that I'll have a little too much fun on the 4th. I'm sure that my eyebrows will be singed off, but they'll grow back soon enough.

If history has told us anything I expect to wake up Friday morning naked, covered in powdered sugar, handcuffed to a bumper that came off of a 1969 Plymouth Valiant, in front of The Cheesecake Factory. Good times! The BEST times!

I hope you have a fun fourth!

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve

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*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you call an American drawing?

A: Yankee doodle!


Q: What are the last words of "The Star-Spangled Banner"?

A: "Play ball!"


Q: How come there's no Knock Knock joke about America?

A: Because freedom rings!

*-- We Are All Free --*

Independence Day was approaching and the teacher took the opportunity to teach her class all about patriotism.

She said to them, "You know, we live in a great country. And one of the best things about it is that we are all free."

At this, a little boy marched up to her from the back of the class, put his hands on his hips and said angrily, "I'm not free. I'm four."

*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?

A: Liberty.


Q: What's the difference between a duck and George Washington?

A: One has a bill on their face and the other has their face on a bill.


Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

A: At the bottom.