July 03, 2019
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Cops have to deal with a lot. Violence, abuse, drunks, psychotics, the mentally ill, malcontents, scofflaws, drugs, car chases and lawyers. But there has to be a limit to what we ask them to do. And when officers in Alabama were asked to apprehend a suspect who was supposedly being protected by an attack squirrel, that probably should have been the limit. Of course, the situation might not have been so risky if the perp had not been feeding the squirrel meth.
Police in Alabama had been looking for Mickey Paulk for nearly two weeks. Paulk, who had been hiding in a hotel, was arrested after he attempted to flee from drug investigators on a stolen motorcycle, according to police. He crashed into an investigator's vehicle after a brief pursuit, police said.
The case against the 35-year-old Alabama man escalated when narcotics investigators executed a search warrant "that yielded meth, drug paraphernalia, body armor and a squirrel."
"Prior to the search warrant, investigators were informed that Mickey Paulk kept an 'attack squirrel' inside his apartment, and that Paulk fed the squirrel meth to keep it aggressive," the Limestone County Sheriff's Office in Athens, Alabama, said in a statement.
After the warrant execution, officers called the Alabama Game and Fish Division, which said owning a pet squirrel was illegal. The squirrel was successfully released to the wild, according to police.
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Fisherman Reels in 'Cursed' Wedding Ring
Jim Nelligan said he was fishing with friends north of Waukegan on Lake Michigan when he reeled in a trout that had a wedding ring zip-tied around its tail. "Immediately we thought who would do that?" Nelligan told local news. "I thought either a divorcee or someone died, and it was their last wish or something like that." News of Nelligan's catch reached Newaygo, Mich., resident Jason Rose, who revealed he was the one who attached the ring to the fish and set it free May 4. Rose, a charter boat captain, said he became convinced the ring was bad luck after his divorce. "Four years went by since our divorce. I felt I needed to get rid of that ring. So I released it the best way I know how," Rose said. "I am convinced that ring is cursed," Rose said. "My life has been nothing less than great since I released it." Rose said he does not want the ring back and Nelligan said he is also eager to get rid of it -- his boat has been having problems ever since he brought it aboard.
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Man Balances Running Lawnmower on His Chin
A Guinness World Records enthusiast balanced a running lawn mower on his chin for 3 minutes, 52 seconds in Idaho. David Rush said he trained for three years and three months before attempting the stunt at the ESPN "Road to the X Games" event in Boise. Rush was able to balance the lawnmower on his chin for 3 minutes, 52 seconds while its blades were spinning. A Guinness adjudicator was on hand to verify Rush had defeated the previous record of 3 minutes, 1 second. Rush has broken more than 100 Guinness records in his efforts to promote STEM education.
You know, I'm not so surprised that some jerk off spent years building a 4-foot tall pyramid out of solid pennies, but I am surprised that anybody's got ten thousand bucks to throw away. If I had $10,000 lying around I could find a much better use for it, believe me.
That poor woman getting fired for filming a porn in her classroom is just another symptom of teachers being chronically underpaid! Do you think, if she were given a living wage, she'd have to take risks like that? And it's not like she was using student. Was it? Don't tell me she was using kids...
[I don't think so.]
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