July 01, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

I didn't sleep very well last night. It's weird when you don't sleep or don't sleep for the length to time needed so you don't look or feel like death warmed over. With a lack of sleep you begin to notice things that you normally just ignore or overlook. You notice the temperature, moisture in the air, light, textures, sounds... you know, things of that sort.

You also think about odd things for far too long, like... What are dog biscuits made from? Collie flour? I think I need a new pillow.

Nighty-night, folks!

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Jokes? Questions? Copmments? Email Steve

*-- How Many Trees? --*

A guy strikes up a conversation with a lumberjack that he meets in a bar.

"How many trees do you think you've chopped down?" the guy asks.

"Exactly 2,742," the lumberjack replies.

"How do you know?"

"Because every time I chop one down, I keep a log."

*-- A Close Shave --*

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.

"And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Who did the mortician invite to his party?

A: Anyone he could dig up!


Q: Which president was least guilty?

A: Lincoln. He is in a cent.


Q: How do sailors get their clothes clean?

A: They throw them overboard and they wash ashore.