June 27, 2019

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was talking with an older friend of mine who has been struggling to come to terms with middle age.

"I'm really worried about myself," he said forlornly. "My memory has always been a source of quiet pride to me, but lately it's been failing me. I'm having a hard time remembering things from the mundane to the major."

"I wouldn't worry too much about it," I said consolingly, "sounds like you'll forget all about it tomorrow."

Lapsingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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What doesn't belong on the following list: Your wife, an egg, and a blow job?

You can beat your wife, you can beat an egg... but you can't beat a blow job.



A car full of Irish nuns are sitting at a traffic light in down town Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. "Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.

Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"

Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, "Did that sound cross enough?"

"Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love." -Butch Hancock



Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly says: "My wife sure is stupid, she bought an air conditioner."

2nd Hillbilly says: "Why is that stupid?"

1st Hillbilly says: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"


2nd Hillbilly says: "That's nothing, my wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new-fangled warshin' machines!"

1st Hillbilly says: "Why is that so stupid?"

2nd Hillbilly says: "'Cause we ain't got no plummin'"


3rd Hillbilly says: "That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wives put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar."

1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: "Well, what's so dumb about that?"
3rd Hillbilly says: "She ain't got no dick."