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June 05, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

WH OverstockDating 'apps' have advantages and disadvantages. The advantage is that you can skip most of the social intercourse that usually preceeds sexual intercourse. You can skip the time and effort of meeting people, skip the social rituals involved in getting to know them, and in many cases you can skip the rejection that so frequently comes with finding out that person you have been getting to know is not interested in you.

The disadvantage, of course, is getting robbed in the middle of the night while you are locked in a closet with a ball gag in your mouth.

That was the unfortunate fate of one New York man who was allegedly robbed by a date he met on Grindr. Police responded to a call of a home invasion robbery around 3 a.m. at the 26-year-old victim's apartment on Greenwich Street, police said.

The man told police he had met his date in a section of the app called "Black Men Love Fisting," the sources said. He said the two men had consensual intercourse that included latex bottles, rubber gloves, a leash and a sex swing.

But they got into an argument over the small size of the perp's privates - leading him to choke the victim and demand cash, the sources said.

The victim told police he thought it was part of the fantasy until his date allegedly dragged him into a closet and took $3,000. The victim reported that he tried to scream when he realized he was being robbed but couldn't because he had 'a jock strap and ball gag in his mouth', the sources said.

The robber fled and the victim was treated on the scene. Cops took latex gloves, a dildo and the sex swing as evidence. Police canvassed the area but didn't find the attacker.


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Ohio Town Plagued By Pink Water

Officials in an Ohio village said pink water coming out of residents' taps is safe for drinking, but could be damaging to clothes. Residents in Coal Grove reported the water coming out of their taps Monday morning was bright pink, leading village officials to initially warn locals not to drink the odd-colored liquid. Officials later said the pink color came from a malfunction at the water treatment center that saw a large quantity of sodium permanganate end up in the water. Stephen Burchett, the water treatment plant operator for Coal Grove, said the chemical is not dangerous if ingested, but it could dye clothes washed in affected water. The village flushed the water at the treatment plant several times and officials said the water will return to its usual transparent appearance once all of the pink water has been run out of the pipes. They still recommend avoiding the yellow snow.

What is a Pocket Mouse? It's a wireless computer mouse that you hold like a pen, but it's enhanced with optical technology that lets you work on any surface from up to 30 FEET AWAY! When I say any surface, I mean ANY surface. Use it directly on your desk, on your couch, on your leg (Yep, it works), on the wall, like I said it works anywhere!

Check them out here...get 2 for just $9.99!

The Condiment Caper

A Florida Man is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly covering his sleeping girlfriend in ketchup, court records show. Investigators say Peter Wagman, 37, and his 41-year-old girlfriend have recently "been in arguments over infidelity by the victim." The couple, who live in Pinellas Park, have been together for 11 years. At around 4:45 AM Sunday, police report, the victim awoke 'to ketchup being poured on her by' Wagman, who was yelling, "That's what you get, bitch." When police arrived at the residence, they found the woman 'covered in ketchup.' Wagman denied the condiment attack, though a patrolman noted that 'he has ketchup on the right side of his pants.' Both Wagman and his girlfriend have previously been arrested for battering each other. Wagman, who was released from the county jail, had pleaded not guilty to the misdemeanor domestic battery count.


Pretty sure that pothole story happened in the US as well. as did a guy who cleaned up garbage, who was ordered by the city to put it all back, because it made them look lazy and useless.

Freedom Gas, huh? Kind of catchy. I guess it sounds better than Tyranny Fuel. We can't go around telling the truth right out loud. The public would never stand for that. Ignorance is strength!

If he can't fix the street, why can't that poor Canadian guy sue the township for the cost of his blow out tire. That makes sense to me.