May 30, 2019

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was just thinking to myself, as I poured over my laughable checking account balance, that I could never be unfaithful to my wife, even if I wanted to.

I can barely afford a house, a wife and three kids. I'd never be able to afford a mistress. I don't know how guys who cheat do it!

If women are anything they're expensive, especially women who know you need them more than they need you. My wife, for example, knows not to expect any money out of me, but then she has to have sex with me by law.

I guess I can't complain too much, because historically every woman who has actually desired to have sex with me (at least until they found out I let the horses out of the barn pretty quick) ended up costing me something. Like friends, wild nights out, and several mega doses of antibiotics.

I sure miss that girl.

Nostalgically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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Broccoli is kind of like anal sex; if it was forced on you as a kid, you probably won't like it as an adult.



Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we're married maybe it's time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs."

Tim gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

"For a minute there you were sounding like my ex-wife."

"Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

"I wasn't," he replied.

"Scientists have been able to create baby mice from freeze-dried mouse sperm that was kept on the International Space Station. When asked about it, the astronauts said, 'Wait a minute, so that WASN'T ice cream?'" -Conan O'Brien


A man was talking to his doctor. "Listen doc, I heard that you were compassionate towards helping a person out that is in pain and suffering. I heard that you could give a shot to euthanize and relieve all that."

The doctor said, "I can perform that service if the pain and suffering is too unbearable for the patient. How long have you been suffering?"

"Twenty years doc." said the man.

"Ok, it sounds like you want out of your misery." said the doctor.

"Great!" said the man, "My wife is in the waiting room, can you put her down now?"