May 29, 2019

Good morning crew,

The weather was a little dicey here in our little corner of the Chicago suburbs on Memorial Day. The weatherman was calling for thunderstorms all afternoon, but at 1 p.m. it hadn't started raining yet and the wife was determined to take the dog for a walk before the deluge started.

She tried to talk me into going with, but I was unwilling to get caught in a downpour. If she wanted to get soaked to the bones, that's her affair. But she reminded me that they would be walking practically right past our local Irish bar Bailey's, where they have a nice, roomy, dog-friendly patio, and I thought to myself; well, what kind of monster would refuse to go on a walk with his wife and dog?

Checking the angry-looking clouds I tucked an umbrella under my arm as we were walking out the door and asked the wife if she wanted one. She had just checked the weather, she assured me, and the really heavy stuff wasn't supposed to come down for a good hour yet.

20 minutes later we were sitting on the patio at the bar taking the first sips of our beer when the rain started to patter all around us. There was a little sun umbrella at our table, but as the wind picked up that became almost useless. Popping open my own umbrella I took a long pull from my glass and asked the wife how she was holding up.

"I'm doing fine," she said as the rain dripped down the tip of her nose and fell into her glass.

I escaped the worst of it, but the wife got soaked right down to her butt. She looked a sight, but she didn't complain. The dog didn't get it too badly either, as she was positioned right in between us.

The downpour lasted just long enough for us to finish our beers. As we got up to leave it slowed to a drizzle before stopping all together for our walk home.

Well, the dog both needed a bath anyway, but after we got back in the house and cleaned up we turned on the TV to see an emergency weather alert. A tornado watch was in effect for our area. Now that would have been an adventure.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk. Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.

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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

A tourist on a diving charter off the coast of Florida asks the blond dive master: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

To which the blond replies: "Think about it! If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."