May 25, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

27-year-old Washington resident Cameron Jeffrey Wilson had a pistol tucked into his front pocket when the gun discharged, sending a bullet through his testicles and into his thigh, according to a probable cause affidavit. That's bad enough, but Mr. Wilson was only beginning to make bad decisions. Instead of heading directly to a hospital, Wilson instructed his girlfriend to first drive to Lincoln Park in Wenatchee, where he gave the pistol to a friend, since he is a 13-time convicted felon and it is illegal for him to possess a firearm. With that little legal landmine avoided, Wilson finally went to the hospital, where things got much, much worse.

As doctors and nurses performed surgery at Central Washington Hospital, a balloon containing marijuana slipped out of his anus, the affidavit said.

Chelan County sheriff's detectives were notified that Wilson had suffered a gunshot wound and then responded to the hospital. They searched the car and found a bag of methamphetamine inside a pair of blood-stained jeans he'd taken off before entering the hospital.

Detectives declined to arrest Wilson at the hospital and instead issued an arrest warrant. Like the genius he is, Wilson turned himself in at which point he was given a strip search. During that search ANOTHER balloon of marijuana slipped from Wilson's anus. Either he forgot it was up there or he was planning on smoking it IN jail. Either way, this guy has one loose anus.

He was arrested and then charged with possession of a controlled substance in a correctional facility, but his legal troubles would continue.

From the jail, Wilson made multiple calls to his girlfriend asking her not to cooperate with investigators. Authorities listened to the calls and subsequently charged him with four counts of tampering with a witness.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com

Intruder Cleans Home, Takes Nothing

A Massachusetts man said he arrived at his family's home to find someone had broken in and given the residence a good cleaning without stealing anything. Nate Roman, 44, said he returned to his Marlborough home last week with his 5-year-old son and the boy was the first to notice the back door was open. The homeowner said he was shocked to go inside and discover nothing had been taken, but instead the house had been cleaned. "You could smell the cleaning chemicals," he told local news. "I could tell something was wrong so I started looking around the house, and I found that my bathrooms had been cleaned." Roman said every room had been cleaned -- except for the kitchen. Roman said a clue left behind -- toilet paper folded into origami roses -- lead him to suspect a professional cleaning service had visited the wrong address. "It was really the roses that really got me thinking that some professional cleaner had accidentally stumbled into my house," Roman said. "If I was going to judge the quality of a toilet paper rose I would call this high quality."


Turn your standard outlet into SIX plugs and TWO USB ports It'll even charge an iPad!

Couple Finds 80,000 Bees In Bedroom Wall

A couple in Spain discovered a buzzing sound that was keeping them up at night was caused by 80,000 bees in their bedroom wall. The couple had been mystified by the low humming sound emitting from their wall for two years, until the sound became louder as temperatures in the area rose and they called a local beekeeper for help. "From about three months ago there was an unbearable noise and they didn't know what to do," beehive relocation expert Sergio Guerrero said. "Just imagine!" The experienced beekeeper was shocked that the couple managed to live with the noise for so long. "With a hive that big it's a wonder they didn't have a constant buzz in their ear," he said. "I can't understand how they've been able to live with them for the past two years."

READER COMMENTS

If the guy doesn't want to be told how to do his job, he had better go work for himself. Then only his wife will tell him what to do.
[Whatever happened to the customer is always right?]

END OF READER COMMENTS