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May 23, 2019

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Have you ever gone to a garage sale? Sometimes I'll stop into one just out of archeological curiosity. It is amazing what people will accumulate over the years. But every now and then you will find a real treasure or two.

And just like some crazy old guy who's lived in the same house for 30 years, the buyers for our online store PulseTV.com have accumulated some real winners and some real curiosities. But summer is coming and we have to make room for new merchandise, so we're having a garage sale!

Just click on the link and cruise around and you're going to find a whole bunch of products at BIG DISCOUNTS.

There are plenty of great buys that most everybody will appreciate, like; a very nice Chef's Knife for $2.99, the heavy-duty Gilmour Twist Hose Nozzle (which is one of the best nozzles you can buy) for a ridiculous $3.51, a solar-powered, 16-foot LED rope light for $8.91, and our best-selling Luxury Faux Mink Sherpa Throws.

That last one is an odd choice for the garage sale page, because those throws have been one of our best sellers for years. But I think they might be replacing them with a new product.

Those are just A FEW of the hot items you're going to find. But there are also a number off-the-wall items that are only going to appeal to a very specific kind of buyer, like the Giant Flower Bird Feeders you put in your garden for $8.91, or the Dual Sided Exercise Gliding Discs that let you 'ice skate' in place while you're standing in your living room. You can take those home for under 4 bucks.

The Infinity Light Bluetooth Speakers are kind of cool if you're into psychedelic look. Or you can open all of your wine bottles with an Injector Pump Bottle Opener for only $5.91.

There are dozens and dozens of items to look at. Click the link here to browse around for a few minutes.

Who knows? You might get lucky.

Opportunistically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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Medical Fact: If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day it significantly increases the chance of a stroke.

If you let her finish the bottle, she'll probably suck it as well.



"Nice threads, man," commented Donald when his buddy showed up one day in a snappy new suit. "Where'd you pick 'em up?"

Richard beamed. "My wife got them for me. Pretty sharp, huh?"

"I'll say. What was the occasion?"

"Got me," admitted Richard with a cheerful shrug. "I came home from work early the other day and there they were, hanging over the chair in the bedroom."



"Ride hailing service Uber will now allow users to save addresses other than home or work for quick access in the app. So, get ready to get caught!" -Seth Meyers


TOP TEN REDNECK PICK UP LINES

SpringSale1. Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

2. Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

3. My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

4. If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

5. You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

6. I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

7. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this here cheap motel room.

8. Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

9. If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

10. Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.