May 22, 2019

Good morning crew,

Have you ever gone to a garage sale? Sometimes I'll stop into one just out of archeological curiosity. It is amazing what people will accumulate over the years. But every now and then you will find a real treasure or two.

And just like some crazy old guy who has lived in the same house for 30 years, the buyers for our online store PulseTV.com have accumulated some real winners and some real curiosities. But summer is coming and we have to make room for new merchandise, so we're having a garage sale!

Just click on the link and cruise around and you're going to find a whole bunch of products at BIG DISCOUNTS.

There are plenty of great buys that most everybody will appreciate, like; a very nice Chef's Knife for $2.99, the heavy-duty Gilmour Twist Hose Nozzle (which is one of the best nozzles you can buy) for a ridiculous $3.51, a solar-powered, 16-foot LED rope light for $8.91, and our best-selling Luxury Faux Mink Sherpa Throws.

That last one is an odd choice for the garage sale page, because those throws have been one of our best sellers for years. But I think they might be replacing them with a new product.

Those are just A FEW of the hot items you're going to find. But there are also a number off-the-wall items that are only going to appeal to a very specific kind of buyer, like the Giant Flower Bird Feeders you put in your garden for $8.91, or the Dual Sided Exercise Gliding Discs that let you 'ice skate' in place while you're standing in your living room. You can take those home for under 4 bucks.

The Infinity Light Bluetooth Speakers are kind of cool if you're into psychedelic look. Or you can open all of your wine bottles with an Injector Pump Bottle Opener for only $5.91.

There are dozens and dozens of items to look at. Click the link here to browse around for a few minutes.

Who knows? You might get lucky.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Parents at a Florida school are reportedly outraged after a video surfaced of students in a classroom twerking and giving lap dances. Or as it's called in Florida, Career Day." -Seth Meyers

***
"Yesterday, a brawl broke out at a Florida airport after Spirit Airlines canceled several flights. To restore control, airport police were forced to fire Cinnabons into the crowd." -Conan O'Brien

***
"I read about a coffee shop in Toronto that doesn't have any Wi-Fi to encourage customers to talk to each other. Although all the customers talk about now is how they should really get Wi-Fi in this coffee shop." -Jimmy Fallon

***

Hunter was 5-years-old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He was playing outside with the other kids when he came into the house and asked, "Grandpa, what's it called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?"

His Grandpa was a little uncomfortable with the question, but he decided honesty was the best policy. "Well, Hunter, that's called sexual intercourse."

"Oh," Little Hunter said, "OK," and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said, "Grandpa, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called bunk beds. And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you."

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

A classics professor tears his favorite pair of trousers, so he takes them to the Greek tailor in his neighborhood to get them mended. The tailor asks: "Euripides?"

The professor replies: "Yes. Eumenides?"