May 20, 2019
Good morning crew,
After an entire weekend of wienerschnitzel, bratwurst, knackwurst, sauerkraut and kartoffelsalat, the wife announced she wanted to go 'vegan' for a while. I agreed. A good balance is important for a healthy diet.
"So how about we have something nice and light for dinner tonight," I said.
"Sounds good to me," the wife answered.
"I'll stop at the grocery store on my way home from work. You want anything in particular?"
"Yeah," she said, "get a few chicken quarters."
Well, the best thing including chicken in your vegetarian diet is they have no seeds to pick out.
Laugh it up,
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"A company will make a life-size 3D printed model of yourself that you can send to your mom for $30,000. It's a great way of telling your mom I'd rather spend $30,000 than visit you in person." -Jimmy Fallon
"A new study suggests that a chemical released when a person is hungry can lead to poor decision-making. It's what Taco Bell calls 'our entire business model.'" -Seth Meyers
"Netflix is testing a new feature that will allow you to hide what you've been watching. You just click the button and it says, I want to stay married." -Conan O'Brien
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My sister, went to the store to check out the bridal registry of our niece whose wedding was coming up soon. When my sister returned from the store, she tossed the gift list on a table and declared, "I think she's too young to get married."
"Why do you say that?" I asked.
"Because," she said, "they've registered for video games."
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
After years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, a young man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.
"Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "but it didn't work out and they brought you back."