Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

May 20, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

Stress can do so many things to your body and mind.

It can make you tired, irritable, hungry, thirsty, hyper, nervous, achy, fatigued, restless, fidgety, cry, scream obscenities, laugh hysterically for no apparent reason, bark like a dog at delivery people, shave your head, fill your bathtub up with peeled bananas and skim milk, engage in a staring contest with a squirrel, make a suit out of your living room carpeting, watch a silent movie with the television muted, build a replica of the Washington Monument out of burn toast, hide pudding in your medicine cabinet, clean your gutters while naked, order a pizza and then eat the box it came in...

Stress can make you do all sorts of things. I'm a little stressed. Can you tell?

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A: A dino-snore!

Q: What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A: A rocket chip!

Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A: A palm tree!

*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Closeout EventQ: What is worse than raining cats and dogs?

A: Hailing taxis!

Q: What is a tornado's favorite game to play?

A: Twister!

Q: Where do pencils go on vacation?

A: Pencil-vania.

*-- Even More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A: A pouch potato!

Q: What did the tired criminal need?

A: Arrest.

Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

A: They lactose.