Subscribe to LAFF A DAY
Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

May 16, 2019

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Top SellersI love the spring when it finally starts to warm up, like it has this week. The bird's song is a bit sweeter, the smell of green fills the air, and women walk around half naked. OK, you can keep the birds and the smell, but I really do like the half naked women.

I got home a little early yesterday and I was greeted by an amazing sight. I was once told by a neighbor that our block was home to some sixteen or so school-aged children. Well, they were all out walking with their 30 and 40-something half-naked mommies, who have apparently been waiting for some warm weather so they could shed most of their clothing.

So I sat on the porch, waving to some, speaking to others, but always wondering, 'What are these half naked women thinking about as we talk?' I mean, if it was me, I'd be thinking, 'Damn, I'm half naked' and either I'd be glad or self-conscience, and you would know which. But I'm pretty sure these women know EXACTLY what they're doing.

You know, maybe I'll ask my neighbor Chuck's wife Jenny what she's thinking one of these days, when she comes over to say 'Hi' as she takes a break from mowing the lawn in cut-off shorts and a bikini top.

I don't know. Maybe that ain't such a good idea.



Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

I love to read those advice columns in the newspaper. I read one this morning. It said, "What's the worst thing a wife can get on her twenty-fifth wedding anniversary?"

"Morning Sickness."

A man and a woman were going at it on the sofa when the phone rang.

"Who was that?" the guy asked.

"My husband," she replied.

"Damn, I better get going then," the guy said. "Where was he when he phoned?"

"You can relax," said the woman. "He's downtown playing poker with you."

"Just in time for Mother's Day, Dove is selling body wash in six different bottles, to represent the different shapes of women's bodies. Yep, it's being called the perfect gift if you want to offend your mom." -Jimmy Fallon

Turn Your Backyard into a Tropical Paradise! Get the Solar-Powered Torches Before They're Gone

A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon."

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.

With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"

The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women!"