May 15, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Breastfeeding is a natural, beautiful thing. It used to be frowned upon in certain public places, but these days there is virtually nowhere where a woman is not welcomed to engage in this wholesome, nurturing activity. So it was a bit of a surprise when a woman in Newark, NJ was asked by a manager to leave a McDonald's for breastfeeding. Of course, she is suing the establishment for violating her rights, but the manager claims it's not the fact that she was breastfeeding, but WHAT she was breastfeeding.

32-year-old Adele Albright's lawyer, John O'Keefe, states that, "Forty-nine states, the District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands have laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in any public or private location."

While the manager maintains that McDonald's has a strict no animal policy.

Because Albright was allegedly breastfeeding her 6-week-old puppy.

"The law clearly specifies that a mother shall be entitled to breast feed in any location of a place of public accommodation," her lawyer argued. "Whether she is breastfeeding her 8-month-old son, a horse or a chimpanzee is irrelevant," he added.

Although Miss Albright says she covered herself and sat far away from other customers, owner Steve Owens claims many of his customers complained and were indisposed by the scene.

"When I realized it wasn't a baby but a puppy that was sucking on her tits, I started puking all over myself," explained one customer.

Albright is suing the fast food restaurant chain for $1.1 million dollars over the incident.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com

Wife Shoots Husband

A man who Florida authorities originally said accidentally shot himself in a supermarket checkout line was actually shot by his wife's gun. The Pasco County Sheriff's Office told the Tampa Bay Times on Monday that deputies' investigation shows that 69-year-old Vernon Messier was shot Sunday when his wife's purse fell off a counter at a Land O' Lake Publix, causing the two-shot derringer inside to fire. The bullet struck Messier in the shin. Deputies said 67-year-old Lillian Messier has a concealed weapons permit. No charges are expected and deputies said Vernon Messier is recovering.

Maybe He Needed to Use the Carpool Lane

An Arizona police officer who pulled over an Oklahoma man driving on Interstate 10 got more than he bargained for when he spotted the man's dead wife in the passenger seat, police say. Rodney Puckett, 70, told the officer that his wife, Linda Puckett, 74, had died at a Texas hotel earlier in their trip, Eloy police wrote in a release. He told police that he put her body in the passenger seat to continue on to their destination, officers wrote. Eloy police arrested Rodney Puckett on suspicion of abandonment or concealment of a body, police wrote. Detectives are working with Texas authorities to investigate Linda Puckett's death. The couple had been in the process of divorcing. Well, that explains it.

READER COMMENTS

LEWIS; if courts tell us that we must tolerate our city streets taken over by parading uniformed hate-mongers such as KKK and Nazis then we should also tolerate 1st amendment rights of a posted car sticker no matter how offensive. "Most folks do not like it" is no excuse since we are not now nor ever have been a true democracy. Besides butt steak is eating ass. -R.S.


A few years ago in Moore, Oklahoma there was a pickup I saw a few times. The last time I spotted it, the lettering that almost completely filled the back window had been changed to "OKIE AS BUCK" with the "B" obviously altered from the original letter. Moore is small enough that momma or grandma likely got wind of the lettering before the cops did, and had some harsh words for the owner of the pickup. -Ted


[My favorite story about license plates comes courtesy of TZ's wife. He told me she saw a license plate with the letters DRT BAG and asked TZ why someone would want a license plate that read; Dr. T-Bag.]

END OF READER COMMENTS