Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

May 13, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

I hope all of the mommies out there had a very Happy Mother's Day!

I had a crazy busy super-fun weekend! Saturday was Jack's birthday (He turned Lucky #7), Mother's Day was Sunday, and now it's Monday and I'm unbelievably worn out.

Don't worry, folks. Next issue I'll fill you in on all of the weekend shenanigans.

I think I better rest. I seriously beat. Stacy told me that it might be due an iron deficiency. So I guess I need to take some iron pills or do some ironing... I'm not exactly sure. I'll look into it.

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Mom's Getting Serious --*

Slob: I think my mom's getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all.

Bob: How do you know?

Slob: She's learning to drive a bulldozer.

*-- Yo Momma... --*

Closeout EventYo momma's so stupid, she put a quarter in each ear and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Yo momma is so stupid she brought a spoon to the super bowl.

Yo mamma is so ugly when she took a bath the water jumped out.

Yo momma is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Yo mamma is so ugly, she scared the shit out of the toilet.

Yo momma is so fat she sat on the rainbow and Skittles came out.

Yo Momma's teeth are so yellow, that when she smiles, traffic slows down!

Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Your momma is so stupid she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

Yo mama is so dumb she tried to make an appointment with Dr. Pepper.

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What kind of flowers are best for Mother's Day?

A: Mums.

Q: What did the banana's mommy get on Mother's Day?

A: Slippers.

Q: Where did the spider learn how to make a Mother's Day gift?

A: On the web.