May 06, 2019
Good morning crew,
The big meat smoking experiment this weekend was a success. More or less. I was expecting a job of big proportions, but what I got into was even more work than I expected. Well, anything you try for the first time is likely to give you some surprises.
The first surprise I got was the difficulty in finding a decent brisket. I was expecting to feed 6 or 7 people so I wanted a good sized brisket. It just didn't occur to me that I would not be able to find a six or seven pound piece of beef at eight o'clock on a Friday night. Most of what you find wrapped in shrinkwrap in the coolers at the grocery store are only a pound or two. So I tried going to a butcher's shop, but it was closed at that time of night.
I admit I was starting to feel a little frantic. What was I going to feed all of these people? I had a ridiculous image in my mind of me trying to smoke five, little individual briskets. Finally, the third grocery store we tried had a late night butcher department and I was able to buy 2 three-and-a-half pounders, and I was lucky to get them. That sounds like a lot, and it was, but I wanted leftovers.
By that time it was almost nine o'clock and the wife and I still hadn't even eaten our dinner yet, and I still had to go home, mix the rub, prepare the briskets, and get everything packed away and ready to go at 6 the next morning.
By the time I was done with the preparations it was after 1 a.m. I was exhausted but at least I was ready. At least I thought I was. There was still nine hours of cooking to do the next day and I was a little nervous about getting it right. But at least I would have four good hours of sleep before I had to face the next challenge.
As I climbed into bed the wife woke up just long enough to say, "Do you think all of that meat is going to fit on the grill?" And then she fell right back to sleep.
I, of course, laid awake for 2 more hours wondering how I was going to get all of the food on that little grill.
Laugh it up,
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"A third-grade class in New Jersey recently found a boa constrictor in the back of their classroom. Even scarier, they DIND'T find Billy." -Seth Meyers
"A new survey found that 46 percent of doctors have used Google or Yahoo to diagnose their patients' symptoms. Yeah, last time I got sick, my doctor was like, 'I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have 'Server Not Responding.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"I've been trying to say 'I love you' more often, starting this morning. I said it to my family before I left the house. And then to my barista. And then to her manager, when the barista complained that one of the customers was making her uncomfortable." -Stephen Colbert
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The Down Side of Cubicles:
* Being told to "Think outside the box" when I'm in the box all day.
* Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.
* Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire.
* That nagging feeling that if I press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.
* Lack of rafters for the noose.
* My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.
* Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra without comment.
* Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants off.
* 23 power cords, 1 outlet.
* Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.
* When tours come thru, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.
* Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.
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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is having sex.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is having money.
At age 60 success is having sex.
At age 70 success is having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is having friends.
At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.
It all comes full circle, whether you like it or not.