Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

May 06, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

I went to a birthday party on Saturday. The party was for my cousin's son, who's turning one. Hey, that rhymes!

Since it was for a little dude there was no pizza, no booze, no petting zoo, no illegal fireworks, no bouncy castles, no paintball guns, no lawn darts, no fire-eaters, no creepy clowns, no Jell-O shots, no blind-folded badminton competition, no ninja throwing stars, and no dirt bike jousting. Well, that was until little man had to take a nap, then it was party on!

It was the best time ever! And it was my idea to make the creepy clowns play blind-folded badminton in the bouncy castle. You're welcome, party people!

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- After Blowing Chunks... --*

A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy.

A few minutes go by and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"

*-- The Psychic and the Frog --*

A frog telephones a psychic and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Kitchen 2019Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?

A: An umbrella.

Q: What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?

A: A doctopus!

Q: What did the hot dog say when it crossed the finish line?

A: I'm the wiener!