May 01, 2019
Good Morning Groanies,
I got a haircut over the weekend and I think I look pretty good. I figured with the weather getting nicer, more sunshine, and much more time devoted to outdoor activities a haircut would be a welcomed undertaking. According to Sean, my 3 going on 43 year-old, this was not the case.
After returning home from the scissorsmithe Sean stopped in his tracks and began to examine me and my new hairdo. Within a minute or two he had completed his analysis and informed me of the consensus.
Sean stated, "Wow, Daddy! You got a really big head. But it's not as big as your big butt."
Thanks, buddy! Maybe you can pick me out a nice hat or giant pants for Father's Day.
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*-- Was He Dead? --*
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner.
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.
*-- Think About It --*
I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Did you hear about the robbery in the laundry room?
A: Two clothespins held up a pair of pants.
Q: What was the reporter doing at the ice cream shop?
A: He was getting the latest scoop.
Q: What do you get when you cross a lobster with a baseball player?
A: A pinch hitter.