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April 29, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

Sale 99centWell, I thought that I had seen it all, but after what my peepers caught sight of over the weekend I now must re-evaluate my thoughts on what the word "all" truly means.

I was doing a little shopping for a few household items when I saw something that I never in my wildest imagination thought would have ever crossed my path. I saw a very well dressed woman strutting her stuff through this store sporting (Are you ready?) a bedazzled eye patch. Yes, an eye patch that looked as if it had been stolen from the Liberace Estate. It was awfully awesomely ridiculous!

It's one thing to wear an eye patch without sailing the high seas suffering from scurvy, but to bedazzle one as if you needed to make it more noticeable or maybe to match your evening wear is just plain weird and cartoonish. All I could think was, "Doesn't this woman have any friends or loved ones that would stop Cap'n Crunch from running out for some milk and bread?" Get a mirror, ye ol' Seadog!

I love going to Wal-Mart! Don't you?

Groaningly yours,
Steve


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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Yogurt Walks Into A Bar --*

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."

One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."

*-- My Stomach Is Getting Bigger --*

Patient: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor.

Doctor: You should diet.

Patient: Really? What color?

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*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What kind of horses go out after dusk?

A: Nightmares!


Q: What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?

A: A Bunny Ribbit!


Q: Do you know how to catch a squirrel?

A: Climb up a tree, and act like a nut!

(Joke courtesy of Penni. Thanks, Penni! )