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April 25, 2019

Greetings Laff Lovers,

New GadgetsI walked into the breakroom and two of our women were standing close and whispering intently.

"Are you two going to start making out?" I asked.

One of them quipped, "You've heard of the MeToo movement, right? What you just said could be considered sexual harassment."

"I'm not sexually harassing you," I said. "I want you two to sexually harass each other while I watch. I don't think that's a crime."

"Would that make him an accessory?" One of them asked.

"I think so, right?" said the other.

"Yeah, that would make him open to a law suit. What do you think we could get out of him?"

"Girls," I said, "you could get more out of me with a handjob than you could with a lawsuit. And it would be a lot more fun, too."

Being an ally,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A man in Florida has been arrested for inappropriately touching two women outside a Walmart while claiming to be a psychic. Though to his credit, when the police picked him up he said, 'I knew this was going to happen.'" -Seth Meyers



According to a new survey about sex, 51 percent of people said they would consider having sex for money if the amount offered was large enough.

The average woman said the amount would have to be at least $35,000.

The average man, on the other hand, said, "How much you got on you?"



"A Republican lawmaker who was criticized about his vote against internet privacy said nobody's GOT to use the internet. Then someone told him that's where porn was. And he said, 'I have been a fool. I apologize.'" -Conan O'Brien



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I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.

"Wow!" I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me."

She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!

"Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days."

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me, saying that she thought tubby bald men were cute.

"Anyway, I've put on a couple of pounds myself," she giggled.

So I told her to fuck off.