April 24, 2019

Good morning crew,

Now that the weather is warming up a bit I've got an idea stuck in my head, and once something gets lodged in there it's difficult to rattle it loose.

For years I have wanted to try smoking. Meat that is, not tobacco. I have been grilling for decades, but smoking (or true barbecue) is a whole nother animal. Grilling is high heat cooking while smoking is done low and slow. Usually under 250 degrees F. Because of that it takes lots of patience and hours of cooking.

I'm thinking a nice, 6 or 7 pound brisket would be the easiest thing to experiment with. The only problem is a brisket will take a good 9 hours of smoking. That means if I want to eat at 3 in the afternoon I would have to be up at 5 a.m. so I could start cooking at 6. And while I am not morally opposed to drinking beer at 6 in the morning, I don't think even I could drink for 12 straight hours.

I suppose I could just have coffee in the morning, but that kind of defeats the purpose of cooking out in my book.

Now there are all sorts of specialized smokers out there that you can buy from a hundred bucks or so all the way up to a thousand dollars, but I just watched a very informative video which demonstrated an easy method for smoking in a regular, old grill, just like the one I have. So I would need a minimum of new equipment.

One thing every griller or smoker needs is a good grill brush. And we just picked up one of the safest and most efficient grill brushes you can buy. It's the Stone Grill Brush by Corona.



It's actually a Pumice Stone which is all-natural, non-toxic, and you won't have to worry about any loose wire bristles contaminating your grill. We have a great price so Click here for all the details.

Now all I need is a free weekend to pull off this little project. And I'll probably need four or five people to help me eat all of that barbecue, too.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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Can You Open A Wine Bottle In Seconds? See How It's Done Here!

"A couple from Florida just set a record by taking their 200th Carnival Cruise. The couple said, 'What can we say, we love diarrhea.'" -Conan O'Brien

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"A new study finds that if you're drunk around sober people, you'll think you're less drunk than if you're around other drunk people. And if you're drunk around sober people, chances are you've got a problem." -Jimmy Fallon

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"On a bittersweet note, the world's oldest person has died in Italy at the age of 117. It's tragic; she died in a knife fight with the world's second-oldest person. I'm kidding! Do you know how she died? Bungee-jumping." -James Corden

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There was a teenage boy who worked in the produce section of the local market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter. So he walked into the back and said, "There's some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this here gentleman wants to buy the other half..."

The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager called on the boy and said, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?"

The boy replied, "Canada, Sir."

"Oh really? Why did you leave Canada?" asked the manager.

The boy replied, "They're all just up-tight, homely women and hockey players up there."

"Really," replied the manager, "My wife is from Canada!"

The boy replied, "No kidding! What team did she play for?"

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

A young city boy visiting a dude ranch wanted to be appear macho, so he went out walking with one of the hired hands.

As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to begin a conversation, "Say, isn't that fine-looking bunch of cows over there."

The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' it's 'herd.'"

"Heard what?"

"Herd of cows."

"Sure, I've heard of cows!" finished the city boy excitedly, "there's a big bunch of 'em right over there."