Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

April 24, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

Here's a classic Groaner column...

A while back I was trying on some coats to see if they would fit me. I love to do that every now and again, but the best part is what you might find in the pockets - items like kleenex, ticket stubs, receipts, keys, and best of all... MONEY!!!

But, needless to say, this caused me to be fired from my coat check job. Hey, when someone puts me in a little room full of coats, what did you think was gonna happen?

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

Can You Open A Wine Bottle In Seconds? See How It's Done Here!

*-- I'm Not Paying --*

Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.

"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."

"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.

"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.

"Getting here cost me my last scent."

*-- A Man Walks Into A Bar... --*

A man walks into a bar with a little salamander-looking creature in his hand. The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.

"Tiny," replies the man.

"Why's that?" asks the bartender.

"Because he's my newt!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

99 cent showQ: Why did the kid bring a skunk to school?

A: For "Show and Smell!"

Q: How do you make an egg roll?

A: Push it!

Q: What's a caterpillar's worst enemy?

A: A dogerpillar!