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April 20, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

As Seen TV BSScience fiction has frequently predicted the future. Star Trek predicted modern cell phones, Blade Runner predicted sex robots, and The Terminator predicted that Google will rise up and kill us all. Sci fi has also been scaring us with visions of killer lizards since Godzilla. And just like all of those other predictions, the weaponized lizard has become a reality, but just like in science fiction, the real monster is humankind.

Police have arrested a man whose identity has not yet released for disturbing the peace at Perkins Restaurant in Painesville, Ohio.

The 49-year-old was apprehended after he removed an iguana from underneath his shirt and began swinging the reptile by the head and tail over his head, according to a department Facebook post. When asked to lower the lizard, the suspect threw the animal at the store manager and fled the restaurant.

Officers were able to track the male down shortly after the incident, according to the post. Police say that the suspect resisted arrest. The iguana, nicknamed Cooper by the police department, was seized by officers and taken to the Lake County Humane Society where he will be checked for injuries.

The suspect is currently being held with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, and animal cruelty charges.


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'Granny Hulk' Breaks Deadlifting Record

An Arkansas woman known as "Granny Hulk" broke a world record for deadlifting just three months shy of her 70th birthday. Sharie Mobley, who will be 70 in July, broke a world record for deadlift in her class and division when she hoisted 305 pounds. The 123-pound grandmother, who started lifting at the age of 60 to offset osteoporosis, said she sees age as a mindset. She said her goal is to break more records. "It's my motivation. It's what keeps me going. To sit at home, I couldn't do it," Mobley said.

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That's A Good Investment of Time

A Wisconsin man said he broke a Guinness World Record -- his fifth such accomplishment -- by going to see Captain Marvel 116 times in the theaters. Steve Ruppel of Weston said he has spent 12,268 minutes watching the latest Marvel Cinematic Universe film, which stars Brie Larson as the titular hero, after discovering there was a Guinness record at stake. "I thought it was the most insane thing ever, I thought it was impossible. I wasn't even sure why it was even a record, but I thought after a while 'I should probably do that,'" Ruppel told local news. He said he needed to go to at least 104 screenings to break the current record for most times seeing the same movie in the theater, but he decided to make it 116 while collecting the evidence required by Guinness. Ruppel has four previous Guinness records to his name including running a half marathon while wearing the most number of shirts and the fastest time to drink 1 liter of gravy -- 1 minute, 12.5 seconds.


I'm not sure how I feel about that case. On the one hand, I am against pornography and agree with his parents that he shouldn't be watching that kind of thing, but on the other hand they didn't really have to right destroy something that belonged to him.

The Judge should just tell the porn addict about the pornhub website and tell him to get out of his courtroom.

If a 50-year-old mint issue of Playboy can be worth thousands of dollars, why can't a 20-year-old video from a defunct production company be worth hundreds? Makes sense to me.