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April 17, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Kitchen 2019Genesis 2:24 says that "a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife so they become one flesh." But in the modern world there can be some obstacles to this divine plan, and in the case of this Michigan man that obstacle was a mountain of classic porn. That is probably why he ended up divorced and living with his parents. But his parents didn't appreciate his porn library either, so they destroyed it when he was away from home. And that's not even the bizarre part.

The unidentified plaintiff (this is a civil case without any associated criminal charges) is suing his parents for a total of $86,822 in damages after they destroyed his massive pornography collection.

The man moved into his parents' home in Grand Haven for 10 months after going through a divorce from his wife. Among his possessions were 12 moving boxes full of movies. But it he must have kept it well concealed because his parents didn't find it until he finally moved to Indiana.

When his parents allegedly traveled to his new place to drop off the possessions he had left at their home, missing was the massive pornography collection. His parents told him that they destroyed the entire collection.

The plaintiff filed a police report estimating the value of his collection to be $28,940, claiming many of the movies that were destroyed were valuable out-of-print films, writing, "Not Just Out of Print. But the entire studio making it dissolved, and that was 20 years ago."

His father claimed he destroyed the porn was for the mental and emotional heath of his son, pointing out that the boy had gotten kicked out of high school for selling porn to other students.

The prosecutor's office declined filing any criminal charges.


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Who uses a crossbow? Seriously? A Canadian woman narrowly survived an murder attempt when an assailant disguised as a delivery man showed up on her doorstep. The 44-year-old victim was alone at the time and answered the door to someone dressed like a delivery man who was carrying a large package. Police said inside the box was a crossbow, the kind commonly used by hunters to kill moose and other large game. Police believe the man was holding the handle of the crossbow through a hole in one end of the box as he pointed it at the victim. The victim and the 'delivery man' had a brief conversation, and then the man shot her in the chest. She was able to close the door and call 911 as he ran away. Police say the attack was carried out by a hit man and was meant to kill her. Police have released video and photographs of the suspect hoping someone in the community can help identify him.

Dog Found Swimming 136 Miles From Shore

Workers on an oil rig in the Gulf of Thailand said they rescued a dog found stranded in the water 136 miles from shore. The oil rig workers said they spotted the dog struggling in the water and called out to her, causing her to swim up to the equipment. The workers plucked the dog out of the water and sheltered her for two days until passage could be arranged on a vessel bound for Songkhla, Thailand. The dog was taken to a veterinarian. One of the oil rig workers said he hopes to adopt the dog if she isn't claimed by her owner. The workers said they do not know whether the canine fell overboard from a boat.


It's like Ron White said, 'I've been partying down in Florida for years and I didn't even know they had laws.'

I don't know, I think if I saw three teenage girls giving each other a shower on the side of the road I'm not sure my first instinct would be to call 911.

Hey, those Florida girls might have been psychos, but at least they were clean psychos.