Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

April 10, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

Spring 2019There are a lot of dim bulbs out there roaming free on this planet. Here's a list of quotes from several of them that I overheard recently. If this keeps up our species is doomed!

1. I'm so hungry I could eat some food.

2. Math would be great if it weren't for all the numbers.

3. All school is good for is learning.

4. Hats are only good for your head.

5. Chicken tastes just like chicken.

6. Is April Fool's Day only once a year?

7. Buying stuff can cost you some big money.

8. My car doesn't have brakes. Is that bad?

9. A quarter isn't worth that much.

10. Just call her and tell her to text you.

Wow! Sounds like a bunch of registered voters to me. Feel free to send me some of the dumbest declarations that ever made it to your ears. You shouldn't suffer that kind of trauma alone. Just Email Steve!

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- It Doesn't Make You Fat --*

Wine Does NOT Make You FAT.

It Makes You LEAN... Against Tables, Chairs, Floors, Walls and Ugly People.

*-- A New Illness --*

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"

"I can't see my ass coming into work today."

Too Much Pet Hair Or Lint? Our 5-Star Fur Wizard Is Just $7.99 PLUS Get a Free Travel Version!

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

A: Because he wanted to be on time.

Q: What do you give a pony with a cold?

A: Cough Stirrup!

Q: What is a horse's favorite sport?

A: Stable tennis!