April 08, 2019
Good Morning Groanies,
I'm gonna start getting more classy. To achieve this extraordinary feat I think I'm going to start wearing a cape. That's the ticket! I think a cape would be a good look for me.
Oh, maybe I'll wear a monocle to compliment the cape. They go together like 8 shots of Wild Turkey and waking up in a crate in truck headed for Mexico. That would be cool.
Wait! I'll sport a cummerbund... just because. Cummerbunds are classy. Like that guy that plays Sherlock on the BBC. I can be classy like him...
(The following was the type of conversation that I would have with myself whenever I'm riding in an elevator or find myself stuck in an airplane bathroom.)
Groaningly yours,
Steve
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives
Jokes? Comments? Questions?
Email Steve

|
*-- A Joke That Doesn't Deliver --*
Bob: Want to hear a joke about the letter with no stamp?
Frank: Sure.
Bob: Oh, never mind. You'd never get it!
*-- That's Irony For Ya! --*
I bet I could quit gambling.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
It's not my fault I don't take responsibility for my actions.
As I said before, I'll only say this once.
This statement is false.
Don't you hate rhetorical questions?
God, I want patience, and I WANT IT NOW!
Sorry, I forgot all about the Amnesia Conference!
The creation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
I can resist everything except temptation.
I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
Never believe generalizations.
Avoid alliterations always.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
Thank God I'm an atheist.
Just say NO to negativity.
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?
A: Big Foot's been spotted several times.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?
A: A jump rope!
Q: Which runs faster, hot or cold water?
A: Hot, because you can catch cold.
|