April 06, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

There was a reason the British Navy used to give their sailors daily rations of rum; a mildly inebriated sailor is much more willing to put a cutlass between his teeth and risk his life boarding an enemy ship for bloody hand-to-hand combat. That is one of the side-effects of alcohol (some people would call it a benefit), a lowering of inhibitions and frequently common sense. That's why it is called 'liquid courage'.

So it should be no surprise that when two Arkansas men came up with a brilliant idea to test out their bulletproof vest, they had already been drinking for hours. And I'll give you a hint: they didn't test it by wrapping it around a tree trunk.

Charles Ferris, 50, and Christopher Hicks, 36, were drinking on the back deck of Ferris's residence when they came up the bright idea to shoot themselves.

Ferris, who was wearing a bulletproof vest (not entirely unusual attire for Arkansas), told Hicks to shoot him, according to an affidavit. Hicks obliged, firing a single round from a .22 caliber rifle into Ferris's chest. While the vest stopped the bullet, Ferris was left with a painful welt on his chest.

Hicks then donned the vest. Ferris, who would later tell cops that he was "pissed" about being shot, confessed that he "unloaded the clip" into Hicks's back. None of the five rounds penetrated the protective vest, investigators noted, but Hicks "was bruised from them hitting him."

When Ferris subsequently sought medical treatment for the shooting injury, hospital workers summoned police.

Both men were subsequently arrested in connection with the aggravated assault, according to police.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com

Who Is Buying All of These Tarantulas?

Philippine authorities said Wednesday they cracked open a gift-wrapped package shipped from Poland to discover 757 tarantulas crammed into plastic containers. The illicit payload found at a mail facility near Manila's airport was the latest seizure in a nation that is a major source and transit point of wildlife trafficking. Customs thought the package suspicious and after opening it found boxes for cookies, oatmeal and tea. Yet the cartons contained dozens of plastic containers packed with arachnids. The seized tarantulas -- priced at about $5,700 -- are frequently sold to hobbyists as pets. Matreo said two people who tried to claim the package were detained on charges of violating wildlife protection and customs laws. The seizure comes about a month after authorities said they had seized about 1,500 exotic turtles, some of which were restrained with duct tape, crammed into a passenger's bag at Manila airport.

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That's One Way to Lose Weight

A couple weeks ago I told you about an Ohio man who decided to imitate the monks 400 years ago and consume nothing but beer (and water) during the entire 40 days of Lent. Well, with just a couple weeks to go, Del Hall has now lost more than 33 pounds. Hall says he is following the lead of monks in the 1600s, who would fast during the season by a bock beer diet. "That would be their liquid bread, and basically it would sustain them through 46 days of Lent." Hall says he will have an assortment of beer for breakfast, lunch and dinner. "Weirdest thing is my dreams, I have been dreaming about food every night," Hall said. He will also be documenting his Lent beer diet on social media and will be tracking his weight.

READER COMMENTS

Gotham has been in New York, New jersey, and even Connecticut at various times over the past 80 years. It's even been next door neighbors to Metropolis for some reason.


If one of my co-workers nearly blew one of my nuts off I'd do a lot more than sue him.

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