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March 31, 2019

Greetings Laff Lovers,

New Sale 2019I just read a story which claimed that men who watch porn are less happy in their relationships. In other words, men are unhappy with their relationships.

The salient point of the story seems to be that watching porn for men can be isolating and can create unrealistic expectations when it comes to real life partnered sex. And on the surface it seems to make sense. If you spend all your spare time watching Double-D breasted nymphomaniacs getting gang-banged by a bunch of gangsters with 10-inch dicks, when you climb on top of your B-cup girlfriend for 7 minutes of yawn-inducing missionary, you're probably going to be a little disappointed.

But what these researchers don't seem to understand is that practically every guy is disappointed in their wives and girlfriends whether they watch porn or not (they do). Why? Because the grass is always greener, and the pussy always sweeter, on the other side.

I don't think I have ever met a man who hasn't settled, maybe just a little bit, for the woman he's with. Even if he married 'up' so to speak, in his fevered fantasies he still settled.

That is, except for me. I married the perfect woman.



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"A new porn site is donating a penny to charity each time someone watches one of their porn videos. So finally, a reason to watch porn." -Conan O'Brien

Are you afraid of the dark?

The husband was a bit embarrassed and told the doctor he had trouble getting an erection with his wife and she was getting frustrated. The doc checked the man's blood pressure and other vitals, then after a thorough examination said he wanted to check with the wife.

He took her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe. Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly. She did as instructed. He then told her to raise her arms above her head, then bend over, touch her toes and cough. Finally he said, "Ok, good. You can get dressed now, and I will talk to your husband."

The doctor went back to the other cubicle and said to the husband, "Well, you can relax, there is nothing wrong with you. I couldn't get an erection either."

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A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open. A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman's right breast is hanging out."

As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast is hanging out. When he gets face to face with her he says, "Ma'am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?"

She says, "Why, officer?"

"Well, your breast is hanging out."

She looks down and says, "OMIGOD, I left the baby on the bus!"