March 23, 2019
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Everybody has those moments of inadequacy, especially when it comes to intimacy with the opposite sex. Most of us deny it, or cover it up. Some of us turn to alcohol. Some of us go to pharmaceuticals to make sure those moments don't happen. In Colombia, apparently, they use the entire pharmacy.
A 32-year-old woman known as 'The Beast' paid a hefty price for her drug-fueled marathon of love-making.
It was reported that the woman and her male partner had sex for five consecutive hours. I guess that's why they call her 'The Beast'. She told her partner that she felt dizzy before going into cardiac arrest at a hotel in southern Cali, Colombia.
Her partner called for emergency services but they reportedly took too long to arrive. He then wrapped the unconscious woman in a blanket and took a taxi to the University Hospital of Valle. However when they arrived the hospital, doctors failed to revive her and pronounced her dead.
Police officers learned later that the pair had taken drugs in attempt to prolong the sex. An investigation into the woman's death has been launched to determine if the woman was a habitual drug user and if the substance had an influence on her death.
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A Leashed Pet Is A Leashed Pet
Petco promises their customers that all leashed pets are welcome. So one Texas couple decided to test them. Vincent Browning and Shelly Lumpkin brought Oliver, a Ankole-Watusi steer, to Petco earlier this week where employees welcomed him "with open arms." "We decided to take a chance and call Petco's bluff on the 'ALL LEASHED PETS ARE WELCOME' policy," Browning said in a Facebook post. "The awesome crew at Petco - Atascocita did not disappoint!" Lumpkin said the couple was on its way back from an event with Oliver when they stopped at the Petco. She asked an employee they knew if she wanted to come see Oliver and the employee insisted they bring the animal inside. "People couldn't believe it," Lumpkin said. "The whole staff there was really nice about it and excited." The Petco store, located about 25 miles north of Houston, responded to Browning's challenge on Facebook saying, "We mean it when we say ALL leashed pets are welcome in our stores." Oliver, who has his own Facebook page with more than 37,000 followers, weighs a little more than 1,600 pounds according to Lumpkin. She said his horns are 114 inches from tip to tip when measured along the curve.
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The 'Magic' Beer Fridge
A pair of men doing cleanup work in Nebraska floodwaters discovered a "magic fridge" in an empty field that was filled with ice-cold beer. Kyle Simpson and Gayland Stouffer said they were heading back toward the highway after a day of cleanup work on Simpson's land, near Schuyler, when they spotted a black box that had apparently been dropped into the empty field by the flooded Platte River, which had since receded from the field. The box turned out to be a refrigerator filled with Busch Light and Bud Light beers. The men shared photos of the "magic fridge" with friends, who posted the pictured to social media. Simpson and Stouffer said the photos went viral and were eventually seen by the owner of the fridge. "I couldn't hardly believe they found it all intact," Healy told the Omaha World-Herald. "The pictures really made me laugh." Simpson said he plans to reunite Healy with his property. "I told the guy as soon as my roads are repaired that I would return it to them," he told local news. "Minus a couple of a beers."
I am sure at least one "snowflake" was damaged, probably permanently, if only by the fact that the idiot had a gun.
I don't know, that guy might have made the smart decision by staying in a burning house. Giving yourself up to a bunch of pissed off cops is a good way to get shot.
You know that guy that was shooting at the snow? Maybe he was shooting at a Yeti or wolves or something like that. You don't know! It's called self defense. Look it up! --Chester
[After enough booze he might have been shooting at pink elephants.]
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