March 22, 2019

Good morning crew,

I read somewhere that bipolar disorder (or manic-depressive disorder) is tied to creativity, which is why practically every single celebrity seems to have it.

Maybe that's why I have never made a smashing success out of my life. And it's not even that I am balanced like a top, emotionally speaking. I get manic, usually when a payday falls on a Friday, and a lot of times I'll get depressed, like when my bills come due and I realize I drank most of my paycheck. I guess it must be a plain, old, simple lack of talent.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new study reveals Americans are getting fatter and giving up on their diets. The study was conducted by going to a water park for five minutes." -Conan O'Brien

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"Boston Medical Center found that 15 percent of 2-year-olds in the Boston area drink as much as 4 ounces of coffee a day. The parents claim they give the kids coffee only when they need it, like when the kid wakes up with a hangover." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"They're considering a new 10-cent fee on grocery bags here in New York. My mom said, 'Who's laughing at the eight-thousand bags under the sink NOW?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in the library. "You know," said Melba, "today, in most marriage ceremonies, they don't use the word 'obey' anymore."

"Too bad, isn't it?" retorted Ken. "It used to lend a little humor to the occasion."


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Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking.

"Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?"

I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?'"