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March 20, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Sale 99centWith all of these gun restrictions and background checks, not every American can get his hands on a firearm whenever he wants to knock over a gas station. But you know what you can get your hands on whenever you want? A machete. That was the weapon of choice (or availability?) of 32-year-old Seth Holcomb who tried to rob a Conoco in Huntsville, Alabama. The only problem was, the clerk had a machete too.

Newly-released surveillance video shows the bizarre machete fight. Police say Holcomb went inside the gas station and started to buy something, going back and forth to his car several times before pulling a large knife on the clerk and demanding cash. Surveillance video shows Holcomb then tried to leave the store, but the clerk auto-locked the door. The unidentified clerk then pulled a bigger knife, a machete, on Holcomb.

The insane video shows several wild swipes being traded back and forth between the clerk and Holcomb, before Holcomb gets frustrated and tries to leave the store. With the door being auto-locked, he literally has to kick down the entire wall. Pretty impressive actually.

The clerk followed Holcomb outside and ended up fighting with Holcomb's partner, 33-year-old Laney Nicholson, who had her own knife.

Eventually both Holcomb and Nicholson get back inside their vehicle and drive off, but not before the the clerk gave their car several good whacks with his machete, smashing the windshield in the process.

Huntsville Police stopped the couple a short time later and took them into custody. They both face attempted robbery charges.

Incredibly, out of all that swinging, slashing and smashing, no serious injuries were reported.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com

That's One Stubborn Man

How do you know somebody really doesn't trust the cops? When he'd rather be burned alive than surrender to them. That's what almost happened to a man in Princeton, Illinois. The situation started when a man reportedly pointed a weapon at another person, according to the Princeton Police Department. According to a report the man had pointed a firearm at a woman, who was later removed from the home. The man then reportedly barricaded himself inside. Police said they continued negotiations with the suspect until the home started burning. "The subject continued to resist police efforts to order him out of the house despite the fact the house was engulfed in flames," read the police statement. Eventually the man was taken into custody. He was charged with aggravated unlawful use of a weapon.



Some People Really Hate Getting Stuck In The Snow

Hancock, Michigan police were called after midnight on reports of numerous gun shots. Arriving on the scene officers found a 37-year-old Hancock man standing outside his vehicle, which was stuck in a snowbank. Officer investigation revealed the man was intoxicated. Officers also found numerous bullet casings on the ground. After a search of the vehicle, officers found and confiscated a Glock 9mm pistol. It appeared the shots had been fired into the snowbank. The man was arrested and lodged in the Houghton County Jail. The snow was unharmed.

READER COMMENTS

So the whale/diver story, first he says "grabbed by something that's 15 tonnes", then it says he "estimated the whale was up to 15m long and weighed 20 tonnes". Also in the beginning of the article it says "a Bryde's whale emerged and engulfed him headfirst", then later he says "Once I felt something had grabbed me on the hip" which pretty much means it came up behind him... Something seems very "fishy" about this story.


LEWIS; The government worker paid for doing nothing had been going on for years in Chicago before Sweden did it. It is called patronage. Do a favor or make a huge donation for a local politician and you get a bogus job that requires punching in morning and out in late afternoon. In between you just hang out at a park field house or a favorite bar. Also various aldermen put each other's wives on the city payrolls with do-nothing patronage jobs. When questioned about their duties those wives claimed "Too busy to talk now." -R.S.

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