March 13, 2019

Good morning crew,

Can you believe we are just a few, shy days away from spring? Before long the evenings will become long and sweet and THAT is the time for spending time out of doors.

And nothing sets the mood for a warm spring or summer evening of fun like some bright, cheery lamps to light up your party.

The Antique Fireplace LED Lantern is one of the more unique lamps you are going to find.

This antique-style fireplace lantern delivers a wonderful ambient glow showing off its realistic LED Flickering Flame Effect. This next-generation flickering technology gives off a stunning effect complete with glowing logs. And for $7.99 you won't find a more eye-catching tabletop centerpiece.

Click here to see the Fireplace effect in action and tell me your friends and family won't be asking you where you got it!


If you're looking to light up your entire yard instead of just a tabletop the Dancing Solar Flame Torch Lights are the way to go!

Think of it like a tiki torch except with no fuel, and no cords or outlets to worry about. These Dancing Solar Flame Torch Lights cast a safe, soft, mood-enhancing realistic flame. It includes three sections that allow you to set lantern at either 16" high, 26" high or the tallest at 37.5" high.

Yes, it is weather-resistant so you can use it outdoors. Use in your yard, pathways, pool, garden, patio, deck or beach. It's the perfect, easy and affordable way to add stunning, decorative lighting.

And since you're going to want more than one you get a BIG discount when you buy two.

Watch a quick video to get some decorating ideas here.

Order your lamps now and they'll be ready to light up the night the next time you some fun planned.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives


Rid your lawn or garden of pesky rodents once and for all with our BEST-SELLING Solar Powered Gopher Chaser

"There are some accusations that Silicon Valley discriminates against people because of their age. Elderly groups are so furious about this that they plan to send Silicon Valley an angry fax." -Conan O'Brien

***
"Hasbro announced they are making a new version of Monopoly to appeal to a younger generation. That means it won't come with any cash, so you'll have to borrow some from your parents' Monopoly set." -Jimmy Fallon

***
"A man in Austria yesterday tried to enter a court with a bag of cockroaches. 'Get those horrible creatures out of here!' said the cockroaches about the lawyers." -Seth Meyers

***

As one of relatively few female airline pilots, I've often been mistaken for a flight attendant, ticket agent or even a snack-bar employee. Occasionally people will see me in uniform and ask if I'm a "real" pilot. Still others congratulate me for making it in a male-dominated field.

One day, I was in the restroom before a flight. I was at the sink, brushing my teeth, when a woman walked through the door and looked over at me. "My sister would be so proud of you!" she remarked.

"Oh, is your sister an airline pilot too?" I asked.

With a confused expression the woman said, "No. She's a dentist."

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

A woman came home from the store with two cases of beer, three bottles of wine, a bottle of whiskey and two loaves of bread.

"Are we expecting company?" her husband asked.

"No," she replied.

"Then why did you buy so much bread?"