March 09, 2019
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Some people are never satisfied. Take the poor (relative term) sap in today's story. He had almost everything a man could want. He was a billionaire businessman. He owned properties all over the world. He was an expert in a very unique field. When he wasn't running his business in Antwerp, Belgium, he was drinking bottles of Chateau Margaux with models and celebrities in his luxurious home in Bel Air. He friends used to call him 'The Argentinian' because he looked like a tango dancer.' But it wasn't enough. He fell 'short' in one very important area, and he paid eveything to try and fix it.
The Opti-Pen is a ballpoint pen with a secret. So quit squinting when you're printing and get an Opti-Pen.
Billionaire diamond trader Ehud Arye Laniado, 65, died after 'suffering a heart attack' during a penis enlargement operation in Paris. He was at an unidentified private clinic on the Avenue des Champs-Elysees in the French capital when complications during surgery proved fatal.
A friend said: 'Internationally, he was one of the biggest experts in valuing raw diamonds.' In 2015, Mr. Laniado sold the world's most expensive diamond called the Blue Moon of Josephine to Hong Kong businessman and convicted felon Joseph Lau Luen Hung for $48.4 million.
But he did have his insecurities.
A friend who wished to remain anonymous, said he was 'always focused on his appearance and how others perceived him'. According to Mr. Laniado's friends, the only time he forgot about his lack of height was when he asked his accountant to read out his bank statement.
Apparently his lack of height wasn't the only thing he was insecure about.
The diamond expert's heart attack happened when a substance was injected into his penis, Belgian media reported.
Mr Laniado's company Omega Diamonds confirmed his passing in a statement: 'Farewell to a visionary businessman. It is with great sadness that we confirm that our founder Ehud Arye Laniado has passed away.'
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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lewis@gophercentral.com
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Pre-Teen Kids Are a Pain In The Butt
An 11-year-old boy charged with shooting his father, an Indiana state trooper, was upset because his parents had confiscated his video games, records show. The boy shot his father, Officer Matt Makowski, in the buttocks with the officer's .45-caliber duty weapon, according to court documents. The boy got the gun from Makowski's locked police vehicle, parked outside the family's home. Makowski later told police he kept his weapon locked in his vehicle because he did not want his kids to have access to it. Smart thinking. Police arrived at the family's home on reports of a shooting. The boy surrendered without incident. The boy later told police he wanted a Play Station, an Xbox and a computer, and that he was "going to get these simple things, or there would be a Part 2," court documents say. Court documents say the boy has a history of behavior problems at school. His parents had recently taken his video games and removed them from the home.
Apparently There's a Record For Everything
A weightlifting champion is now a Guinness World Record holder after tearing 23 license plates in half in 1 minute. Bill Clark, whose muscular accomplishments include U.S. National and World Powerlifting Championship wins, ripped 23 U.S. government-issue license plates in half in only 1 minute during an event in Binghamton, N.Y. Guinness reviewed evidence from the attempt and declared Clark a record holder for most license plates torn in 1 minute. "I can remember looking through the Guinness World Records book over and over, dreaming of one day being a part of it. This may very well be the crowning record of my career," Clark said. Clark, who was inducted into the National Strength and Power Hall of Fame in 2014, said his accomplishment was aimed at raising awareness of children's cancer and scleroderma.
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