March 06, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

I typped this with a markeer in my nose.. Noot bad, eh? I thinnnk I'm gooinnng to get on thhat Ameriicas Got Talentt show. Thiiink I'll winn??

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- You're Gonna Fart Your Guts Out! --*

There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years. Every morning the old guy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance.

"You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.

After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old guy's keister.

While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream.

Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.

"You were right," the old guy said, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"

*-- Need Glasses? --*

Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.

Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why should you always guard your rear while you're in the hospital?

A: You're in enema territory.


Q: What did the rope say after it got tangled?

A: Oh, no. Knot again!


Q: Why should you not trust the ocean?

A: Because there is something fishy about it.